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To just pretend.
And lie-
lie to the world,
lie to myself,
And live completely unfulfilled.

To live with a secret knowledge-
A knowledge of self.
Secret desires repressed and hidden
It cannot go on much longer.
I can't stay so lonely.

But I am scared as hell.
Years of adamant denial.
Now what?  What do I say?
How do I explain?
Do I need to explain?
So fuckin confused

And it's not even confusion
Because I do know.
Have known for a very long time
But have fought it.
Told myself it could not be true
Knowing the whole time that it was.
Not having the confidence in myself
to not care what others think.
Wanting to come out and accept myself,
But scared as Hell.