To just pretend. And lie- lie to the world, lie to myself, And live completely unfulfilled. To live with a secret knowledge- A knowledge of self. Secret desires repressed and hidden It cannot go on much longer. I can't stay so lonely. But I am scared as hell. Years of adamant denial. Now what? What do I say? How do I explain? Do I need to explain? So fuckin confused And it's not even confusion Because I do know. Have known for a very long time But have fought it. Told myself it could not be true Knowing the whole time that it was. Not having the confidence in myself to not care what others think. Wanting to come out and accept myself, But scared as Hell.